2 Years

2 years and I still can’t believe it. That is how long it has been since my dad passed away. When ever I feel like I’m healed and ready to move past the feeling of lost, some thing reminds me that he is gone. Now I’m not saying forget because I could never forget him. I’m talking about not hurting anymore. I know everyone says time heals all wounds but this wound honestly is taking a long time to heal.

I know part of that is my Jedi, as much as they are a blessing to my family; they are a constant reminder that Dad isn’t here to see them grow up. Now according to Jeff and my mom my dad is watching them grow up and I want to believe this I really do however it’s difficult for me. I can’t comprehend something I can’t prove logically. It’s just the way I am built. On some levels I admire those that can. I don’t understand it but I am beginning to respect it.

My biggest problem with losing my dad is why. Yes I know everyone asks that when they loose some one. I’m not saying I deserve an explanation or expect to get one. If I did receive one it would probably freak me the hell out. I just have a hard time believing that if there is an all knowing being that dictates when and how some one passes that they would take my dad, months before his first grandchildren were born. Add to that why they would create homosexuals and at the same time create prejudice against them. I just can’t believe in it, I want to but there are too many questions that no one can answer.
I get tired of the answer of “No One knows what God’s plan is” well if that is true, the plan sucks and it needs to be changed. There are too many people walking the earth that don’t deserve to and too many people that do that aren’t. Yes I know that sounds a bit harsh but it normally is the way I feel during October.
I lost a part of myself when I lost my dad. That surprises me because my dad and I were close yes but we weren’t “close” if you can understand. But 2 years later and I am still lost, still feeling like I am missing a part of me. I blame this on Jeff not in a bad way though. If it wasn’t for him. I would not be able to feel anything of this. As much as I hate him not being here I’m glad that I feel the lost. If I would have lost my dad before Jeff I don’t think I would have felt anything and really is that any way to live?

Dad – I still miss you, some times more than I think I can handle. Following the Yankees just isn’t the same without you. PS the Jedi are amazing, hopefully mom and Jeff are correct and you are seeing that for yourself. I won’t let anything happen to them and they know who Pop-Pop is.

Jeff – As always I love you and thank you for making me who I am today. I couldn’t have done it with you.

R2-D2 Cake Pictures

Finally pictures of the R2-D2 cake Three Blind Mice Bakery create:

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Gay Marriage

Read this article and tell me it isn’t “normal”.

Truly amazing!!!!!

twitter: t_bartolomei

R2-D2 Cake

Well I have finished the R2-D2 cake, all I have left to do is delivery it and finish the assembly tomorrow at the reception. I have to say I’m very happy with the way it came out. Our there some flaws, yes, but I’m still pleased with it. After I assemble it tomorrow, I will post pictures. Currently R2’s legs are not attached and I don’t want to post pictures of an incomplete cake. I hope the bride and groom are as happy with it as I am.

Keep posted tomorrow for pictures.

twitter: 3BlndMiceBakery

 

National Coming Out Day

Today is October 11, National Coming Out Day and to celebrate I thought I would share my story of when I first came out.

 It was 19 years ago I don’t remember the exact date or month I just remember the year. Part of that is because I hate to admit it but I was a coward when I first came out. You see I met my ex, the dark ages, on October 28, 2002 and I was afraid to tell my parents at first. After a few months I was tired of the lies and finally got up some courage to tell my parents.

 I say some courage because the way I told my parents was so unfair to them. You see I believed everything my ex was telling me that if I told my parents they wouldn’t love me any more and wouldn’t want anything to do with me. I was so prepared for this that I didn’t give any thought to the method of telling them.

 So how did I tell them? I wrote them a letter, yes you read that correctly. Not only did my letter tell my parents that I was gay, it told them I was involved in a relationship and that I was dropping out of college, talk about dropping a bomb on the ones that you love. In the letter I also told them not to contact me unless they were willing to accept me being gay. Yes I know I was very selfish and rude to my parents, but I was young and under the influence of a not so nice person.

Luckily for me my parents are very loving. A week or so after the letter was mailed I received a phone call from my parents, telling me they loved me and as long as I was happy they were happy for me. Now I will say it did take years for our relationship to grow into want it is now and for that I am very thankful. Coming out to them was one of the hardest and best decisions I ever had to make.

 Though in my opinion you really don’t come out once over the course of your life; you are continually coming out. Every time you start a new job or meet new people you come out. Now I’m not saying you shake hands and say “Hi my name is_______, and I’m gay.” However if you really want to form relationships with individuals you have to be honest about who you are as a person, which means at some point your personal life comes up and you have to make the decision on just how honest you are willing to be.

For me it is extremely important to be completely honest with whom I am. There are many reasons for that. One being I tried the being closet route in the beginning and a few years ago when I started working for Nationwide and let me tell you it just did not work for me. It was very difficult to play the pronoun game. You know the one where you don’t say we or you say friends so you don’t have to say us. On top of that hiding part of who I am makes it very difficult to develop relationships.

 Even more important than the above reason is the matter of self respect. I truly believe I was born gay; it was not a choice any more than it was a choice for some one to be straight. So why would I be ashamed of that part of me? I’m not so I’m not going to hide it.

Also I believe it is every gay person’s responsibility to be out and proud to show the world we are EVERY WHERE and we are no different than any one else.

 So that is my Coming Out Story, why not share yours?

 

R2-D2 Week

Yes that is correct R2-D2 Week has begun. What does that mean? The R2-D2 cake that Three Blind Mice Bakery is doing has begun construction. Now don’t worry the actual cake has not been baked this early. Tonight I constructed the base for it and made the butter cream icing.

I’m happy with the base, a tad nervous about the 30 minute delivery on Saturday but I decided that I will finish construction on the actual cake on Saturday at the reception. Better safe than sorry.

Stay tune for pictures on Friday.

twitter: 3BlndMiceBakery

 

 

 

New 52 – Week 4

So I finally download the week 4 issues I wanted to read, almost a week later. Those issues were Aquaman, Green Lantern: New Guardians, I Vampire, Superman, Teen Titans and The Savage Hawkman. I would had been interested in the Flash but it’s not Wally West and to me that isn’t the Flash. Yes I know some of you may think that is sacrilege but I like what I like. I feel the same way about Green Lantern, to me Kyle Rayner is Green Lantern. 😉

So let’s get to the books I read. The ones that felt hit it out of the park were Aquaman, Green Lantern and Teen Titans. I really enjoyed these 3 books I thought the stories and the art work were incredible. I know reviewers felt the Teen Titans was a let down, I disagree. I liked how the book the started and where it seems to be going. I very interested in some of the back stories, especially the meta teen plot line. I also enjoyed the art work and the new costumes. Aquaman has always been one of my favorite characters and I have to say I’m very happy with how he was handled in this book. I loved how the played with all the jokes people make about the character in the book itself. I felt it was very clever and fun. Green Lantern I enjoyed I’m not sure where they are going with it but that is a good thing because it makes me want to keep reading.

As for the other 3 I enjoyed them, they just seemed a little confusing to me. Now some of that could have been that I was trying to watch TV and read these at the same time. 😉 Hawkman and I, Vampire has me very interested I’m just not sure of what took place at some point in these books. I really hope DC follows through on the upcoming war between Vampires and Heroes in this book. That is something I can’t wait to see.

As for Superman, I enjoyed this book I just felt like the writers dropped us into the middle of a plot and I was a little lost. That being this technique has caused me to want to re-read it and download issue 2 to see where things are going.

Over all I have to say I have been very happy with what DC is doing with this New 52, like I have said before I just hope they can keep this up.

The Talk!!!!

New 52 – Week 3

So the third week of New 52 Comics came out this past Wednesday. Now I only downloaded two for right now. Those two were Superboy #1 and Batman & Robin # 1. I am interested in reading Frankenstein, Batwoman, Legion Lost and Demon Knights but I figured I would wait till the digital version is cheaper by a dollar in a monty. Batwoman # 1 may bet downloaded sooner than that. The other titles I’m interested in but something tells me minus Legion Lost Frankenstein & Demon Knights will not be around very long. Hopefully I’m wrong, but who knows.

As for the two I did download I enjoyed both very much. I have to say so far from what I have read I am loving the DC’s New 52. I just hope they can keep up the momentum. I like being able to pick up a comic and not have to worry about all the past history yet at the same time knowing about the big moments in that character’s past. For me that is very enjoyable.

Superboy # 1 was awesome. Now I did have to read this book twice not because it was uneasy to follow but I was trying to watch television and read this book and it just didn’t work for me. I enjoyed seeing Superboy being created again and being able to learn about him from the inside out. I also have to say I hope the writers keep playing with Superboy’s duality the fact that he is part Lex Luthor and part Superman. That duality has some very interesting potential for Superboy’s character develpment a long with his interaction with other characters he may come upon in the course of this book. Can’t wait for Superboy to join the Teen Titans and to see the reason he joins the team. From how this book ended it looks like at first it may not be for a good reason. It will be interesting to see how they handle that if it is going to as predictable as I fear. Hopefully not.

Batman & Robin # 1, LOVED IT. Damian is an interesting Robin to say the least. Now let me I haven’t read the previous Batman & Robin with Damian as Robin and Dick as Batman. So this is my first introduction to Damian’s Robin and I like and hate him at the same time. He is a cocky little bastard but considering his heritage and training that is expected. Hopefully they don’t soften him too much. I think it will be fun to see Batman working with someone who is on some levels darker than him, Damian has no problem killing it looks like from this first issue. Looking forward to how develops.

As for this new Batman, well he really isn’t new. Batman is still a BADASS!! I will say I like that they are letting him give up the whole mooping around about the death of his family, but come on. Yes I’m sure that loosing one’s parents at so an early age is tramatic and will affect you for life but at some point you have to move past it and get on with your life. So I’m glad to see this development. It does seem like what I have read that it’s true that Batman is not being alter very much in this NEW 52 and I’m okay with that because to me Batman is DC.

Next week I’m extremely excited for Nightwing # 1. Can’t wait to get that one.

Thanks for reading.

 

New 52 – Second Week

So this week DC Comics released its second week of new #1s, and can I just say how much I love same day digital. I downloaded Action Comics # 1, Detective Comics # 1 and StormWatch #1. There are a few other ones that came out this week but I figured I can wait 30 days on those so I can download them for a dollar less. 😉

The new Superman in Action Comics I like, and I’m not a Superman fan. To me  this character has always been too powerful, too unrelatable. I like seeing a Superman who can bleed and right now can fly. I also love  his new cocky attitude. I mean if you are one of the most powerful beings on earth you would be a little cocky. LOL

I enjoyed Detective Comics # 1, mainly because I love Batman but also because it was Batman hunting the Joker. You can’t get better than this. Let me just say this new Joker seems to be a total nut case and I love it, can’t wait for the next issue.

Now StormWatch # 1 I enjoyed but I was a little confused since I’m not familiar with this book at all. So far I like what I am seeing and I’m looking foward to learning about these characters and where the story is going.

I have to say there was a part of me that feels like I should be purchasing a paper version of these #1s but I have to remember I read comics for the enjoyment not the investment.